Ep. 3 - Overcoming Overwhelm

​​Ep. 3 Overcoming Overwhelm  Transcript

Hello, hello, hello amazing mamas to Gutsy Mama Podcast where we are going to be talking about all things momming, money, marketing, and mindset. 

So today on this solo podcast, I want to talk to you about dealing with overwhelm. Now, I don't know about you, but I just got done with a week of spring break with my daughter home with me, she got two different illnesses while she was here, my parents were visiting, my husband was traveling, and then he came home with an illness. So I had sick people and parents visiting and people to entertain, on top of what I thought would I'd be able to get some work done, it was a lot. 

And it was very overwhelming, even when thinking about it now and saying it now I think about the overwhelm, I was feeling with a lot of things. So I wanted to jump in and talk to you about overwhelm, because I feel like it's something that we as moms feel more than most, because we take on so much more. And we take on so many things, and we hold ourselves to such high standards, oftentimes. 

So I want to talk to you about some of the things that I do to deal with overwhelm. Things I've discovered by trial and error in my life, things I've discovered through from my coaches, from educating myself from reading books from listening, and I've built an arsenal of tools that I use to combat the dreaded feeling of overwhelm that I'm sharing you with you here. 

So let's go ahead and jump into some of the ways that you can deal with this overwhelm. Now, remember, I don't use all of these, I'm going to be talking about eight different ways.

I don't use all of them all the time every day. Sometimes it's not feasible for me use some of them. So I keep all of them in my back pocket. So that I can use them when I need them. 

Okay, so the first thing, this is a good one and an exercise that's really great to do on a daily basis. If you're a journaler, this is something that you can do on a daily basis, just to make yourself feel better. 

My dad has always said to me, “The number one trait of happy people is gratitude.” Because no matter how crappy your day has been, there's always something to be grateful for. 

So Number 1 on my list of ways that I deal with overwhelm, is to make a list of the good things in your life. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's easy to focus on the negative, and forget the good things in your life. So when you take a minute to write down everything you're grateful for, whether it's your health, your family, your job, food on the table, even small things, your pets, your dogs, a beautiful sunshiny day, good friends who know when they need to bring you wine, any of those things. Reflecting on those positives can help shift your mindset and ease those feelings of stress. And the next thing when you have that list and you have it written down, you want to prioritize these good things and focus on the ones that bring you the most joy. Whether it's spending time with your loved ones, or taking a walk outside or reading a book, make sure to prioritize those activities on a daily basis and take time for them throughout your day. And then the next part about this, you've got this amazing list of things that make you happy, you've got permanent things, you've got things that happen daily. Now keep that list somewhere visible as a reminder of all the good things in your life, even when things get hard. My husband laughs because I've got sticky notes of good things written, you know, they're stuck to my bathroom mirror, or they're stuck on the fridge or they're stuck to the lamp on my desk. Because sometimes when I feel like everything's going to absolute crap, I just need to look at that list and feel grateful for the wonderful things that I have in my life. 

So number two, and this sounds easy and obvious, and everybody says it but everybody says it because it's true. Number two is you just need to breathe. You need to take action within your body and focus on your breath. So deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth and really feel that air coming in to your body. It's a great way to lower your blood pressure. It's a great way to close your eyes and take a moment for yourself. You can do it pretty much anywhere. And I found that really focusing on deep breathing is one of the simplest and most effective ways to reduce stress and anxiety. I like to find a quiet place to sit or lie down and take a few deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. Like even sometimes when I'm having really difficult time with my daughter, she's five, and she knows everything. Or at least she thinks she does. 

Sometimes I'll say, You know what, mommy just needs to step away for a moment and take a few deep breaths. And she understands because it's me modeling a good behavior for her, she sees me feeling overwhelmed, and that's okay. And she sees me peacefully dealing with that feeling dealing with the anxiety dealing with that frustration. And I repeat that exercise for a few minutes. And you can really feel your body relaxed, I think of my from the top of my head, in each muscle from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, relaxing, and I repeat this for a few minutes until you can really feel your body relax. If you're the type of person who maybe might need a little more help, you can always do guided meditations, there's all kinds of apps for them, or even yoga to focus on your breath and calm your mind, it takes a few minutes of really deep breathing can make a big difference in how you feel physically, and emotionally. 

Okay, so number three on my list, and this is probably my favorite one. It's not always possible, because it's not always weather conducive. But I like to get some vitamin D. So I'd like to actually just get a little bit of sunshine on my face, there's a reason we tend to get seasonal affective disorder in the winters because we get low on vitamin D and we get low on sunshine. So spending some time outside can do wonders for your mental health, I often when I'm feeling stressed, or when I have a feel like I have a problem I just can't quite find the solution to I walk around and back and forth on my front porch. And my dog who just like walks back and forth with me, because I need to get the sunshine, I need to get some fresh air, I need to get a change of scenery. And that can really help me get my head in a different headspace to talk to, to take a walk around your neighborhood, you can sit in a park, you can simply like I said, just step outside for a few minutes and get some sun on your skin. It can help you feel more energized and less overwhelmed. So you say okay, I'm going to take a break, I'm going to walk outside, I'm gonna see what happens. 

Okay, my next thing and I'm really fortunate and really grateful that I have people in my life who can help me with this. But my next thing is to phone a friend. Now I've got a few people in my life who can I can always call when I'm like, I'm feeling really stressed. Can you talk to me and one of those people is my dad. And when those people is my sister, my best friend Sarah, Mary, I've got a few people who I love, and who I know are really just good at listening, and I don't have to call them all the time. But every once in a while just phoning a friend can be so helpful. 

And I know it can be hard, because sometimes it can be hard to ask for help. It can be hard to admit you are not handling everything, it can be hard to admit that maybe you're dropping the ball or dropping a few balls. But asking for help and finding support is going to be an integral part of dealing with that overwhelm. 

Now, I want to make a special note here because I found it's really, really important. Don't be afraid to tell your friend when you reach out what you need help with. Meaning do you need help coming up with a solution or a plan? Tell them or maybe you just need someone to listen while you complain. And you can tell them that and a good friend will understand. Like my dad is to the point where he knows most times when I'm calling him I know the solution. I know what I need to do. He doesn't need to give me a solution. And really, if he tries to give me a solution if he tries to fix my problem, I will actually just get more annoyed. So usually he knows that he just needs to listen and I'm really lucky about that. 

Okay, so the next thing is to chug, chug, chug, and I'm not talking about wine. I'm talking about water. Because dehydration can cause fatigue and headaches and other symptoms that can contribute to your feeling like it's just all too much and you can't do it. Make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day. I know it sounds simple, and it sounds dumb. And you're probably thinking, Julie does you telling me to breathe and drink water like oh you mean the basic building blocks for life? Yes. I mean the basic building blocks for life. Because the thing is, most a lot of people are chronically dehydrated.

I am a big time hardcore water chugger. My daughter always says Mom, you go to the bathroom so much. I'm like well yeah, honey, I drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day. There are apps that remind you to drink water. Maybe you need to get one of those fancy fancy water bottle. So it'll make you feel like you're drinking water. But just taking regular sips throughout the day can make you feel more alert can make your brain work better, can make your blood pressure better. All of these things can help you deal with that feeling of overwhelm, and you won't even realize that you're doing it because again, it's just something you should be doing anyway. 

So next on my list of dealing with overwhelm, and this is one of my favorites, this is absolutely my favorite is to say no, just say no. 

My motto is. “Be Kind. Be generous, but set boundaries like a motherfucker.” 

Because it's important to set boundaries and say no to things that do not align with your values or priorities. This can include saying no to social events, and work projects and other obligations. 

Just yesterday, a dear friend who I really liked spending time with asked if Roxy and I wanted to come over to her house with Roxy, my daughter. And I was feeling tired and a bit rundown. It was after a long week. Roxy had been sick, you know, just like I told you. And I had to tell her that I felt like I needed to stay home and recharge after a stressful week, like being social, for me it would have been hard dealing with kids running around. And all of these things just would have been too much for me. And she totally understood as good friends do. 

Remember, it is okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being. And sometimes, that means saying no to things. Whether it's at work, whether it's social stuff, whether it's a client, you know that it will be stressful, and you don't want to handle it, saying no can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed. 

Sometimes it's even just saying no to little things. Sometimes it's even just unsubscribing from email lists. Right? 

So number seven, speaking of small tasks is to finish a smaller task. So break down your larger tasks into smaller, more manageable ones. Right, so you've got a big project looming. But you know, you have to do 30 steps, well do one of the steps. 

Maybe you're building a website, and you've the thought of just building the whole thing is overwhelming. Okay, well, maybe resize all of the images so that your images are ready to go. Maybe work on your checklist, maybe just build out the logo, maybe just do some  client research. So you know what's coming down the pipe. 

Choose a task that you can complete in a short amount of time, pick one small task you've been avoiding and do that. Maybe it's like responding to an email or organizing your desk. Or if you're like me, it's probably watering this poor sad houseplant that's sitting in my office dying and wilting and making me feel terrible. 

But finishing a smaller task can give you a sense of accomplishment and help you feel more motivated to tackle those big jobs because you'd be like, Okay, I crossed that off my list. Sometimes I'll do something and then write it on my list just so I can cross it off. But finishing that smaller task, finishing those things that are giving you that overwhelm, can be really, really important. 

Number eight is a big one for me, and I do it almost every day. Number eight is take a freaking nap, mama. Naps aren't just for babies. It's okay. It's for moms to take a break and rest. I take a nap at least probably five days a week and I love them. Naps are my jam. It's not laziness. It's self-care. It's prioritizing rest.  Take a nap or lay down for just a few minutes. If you're not one of those people who can sleep during the day, that's fine. But lay down and close your eyes and just relax. 

Prioritizing rest is a crucial part of being healthy and happy. 

Now I know I've talked about it, breathe, drink, water, sleep. But all of those things are so important. And feeling overwhelmed is a totally normal and common experience, especially for moms. But that doesn't mean you can't control it. 

Whether it's making a list or doing good things in your life or taking deep breaths, or saying no to things that don't serve you. There are so many strategies that can you can use to feel calmer and more in control. Remember to prioritize your mental health and well-being take time for yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it. 

That's why inside The Gutsy Mama Project, Support is so important. That's why there's group coaching and Facebook groups and community because when you're building a business, that kind of support and having people to bounce ideas off of is absolutely critical. 

So if you have any questions about what I I've been talking about… how I work through these things, please don't hesitate to reach out at support[at]thegustymamaproject.com. Or you can check out more about The Gutsy Mama Project where I give moms the tools to build, grow and scale their own Squarespace agencies at beagutsymama.com 

So cheers, amazing mamas, and I will see you on the next episode.